I entered motherhood wide eyed and idealistic. I wanted three or four kids and thought I would be able to handle it with grace and dignity. HA! After many unsuccessful years of trying, I was diagnosed with PCOS. My life motto is find out the problem and tackle it. No shooting in the dark. It is just a waste of time. PCOS? Got it. Now what do I do about it? Troubleshooting led us to having a baby the first month after seeing the doctor.
Great right? All set right? Easy from there right?
The moment my cute bundle was born C (shortened for blogging) opened my eyes to a whole new world. Healthy at first, she was the light of our lives. Still is in fact. Then we started to see the difficulties. Not smiling as much, not talking, sleeping very little, diarrhea ten times a day, just looking at you as if she doesn't really get what you are saying.
I am clueless. Utterly 100 percent clueless. One things always leads to another thing, then anther. The further I get into getting a diagnosis, the more clueless I seem to become. To date, C has been diagnosed with a penicillin allergy, severe lactose intolerance, many environmental allergies, Sensory Processing Disorder, expressive and receptive language delays, ADHD combined type, learning disorders and Autism. She has had three sets of tubes in her ears, 2 adenoidectomies (yes, 2!) and numerous scans of all types.
My head is spinning with all of the acronyms. I am clueless. Through it all though, my now 8 year old reminds me of the simpler parts of life. Developmentally, she is 8 going on 5 years old. I don't have the same problems of an 8 year old trying to be 14. We are not fighting about clothes being inappropriate for her age. We generally fight about how much pink we can get into one outfit. I love it. Yesterday she wore a tutu to visit the doctor.
I will continue to read and make my self more knowledgeable about her alphabet of diagnoses. I will always continue to fight for her rights and education. I will not have autism as a secretive monster in the closet. We are open, we are dealing with it. I will not have autism and the other things hold us down. I haven't always been positive, but I am putting in the effort these days.
I have thought about this blog for a long time. Do I have anything to say? Would anyone want to read it? I don't care. This is my online diary of life. I type better than I write in a notebook.
That is how I got here....clueless and loving our lives.
